Adventures of a French Man and His Petite Californienne in the North East

I already had a whole day's worth of adventure this morning, Sunday, the day after Christmas.

There is a blizzard coming.  The media sure has hyped it up to be a doozy, a heart attack snow storm that will dump 2 feet of snow on Boston.  Sam dreaded being snowed in and stranded with us old people when he has friends to hang out with in soggy California, so he rescheduled his evening flight with a layover in Baltimore to 6:25 this friggin' freezin' morning.  Which means having to leave the house at 4:30 am.  I think part of me really wanted him to be stranded in the snow with his loving mudda because I couldn't get my ass out of the house until 5 am, then we hit every damn red light on Massachusetts Avenue and found a bordella of a mess at the airport early Sunday morning, the day after christmas, a day you would think everyone would be at the malls bargain hunting.   I could feel Sam's anger mounting at each red light, and hear him thinking: I'm going to miss my flight and have to spend another day in this dreadful place.   When we finally got to the airport at 5:50, it was clear that either he or his luggage was not going to get on that plane.  If only I could have dragged myself out of my cozy warm bed 10 minutes earlier, I lamented.   After forced kisses and hugs, he dashed to Southwest to check in while I sat paralyzed in my electrically heated car seat.  Dare I move from in front of terminal E where I waited until 6:25 to call Sam to see if by chance, everything worked out just fine.    No answer, oh good, he made it.  Sigh of relief...not so soon.  He called back...oh no..thats not a good sign.    "My luggage is going to LA but I missed the gate by 10 minutes, I'll call you back"  Oh shit!  now what.  All the flights are booked until the afternoon which will most likely be canceled, what is he going to figure out?  Sweet talk the flight attendants?  Well maybe...ring, ring, "I got on the plane to Chicago, it leaves now, call you in Chicago."  Huge relief, Chicago is better that Baltimore because the storm is coming from there.  But will he make it LA?  I had to wait nervously until he arrived in Chicago for the answer.

Meanwhile, Marc and I raced to be first in line at Home Depot this morning, not for after christmas shopping, but to get a new snow plow because a huge snow storm is coming and there ain't no way  he can shuffle snow and me, well I'm from California, what do I know about what to do in a snowstorm except stay warm by a fire and pour hot chocolate :)  We were about 10th in line waiting in the cold before the doors open.  The mad rush to get snow supplies.  I just never witnessed this before.  Marc made a bee line for the pre-assembled snow-blowers to stake out his claim.  I went to the manager's desk and asked how to buy a snow blower.   I was second in line,  the man in first place wanted Marc's blower, so he got it.  I was next so I told Marc to pick the biggest, most expensive, bells and whistles snow beast.  He did and he was the envy of all the manly lumber jacks at Home Depot.     Hmmm, this thing weighs a ton, how will we ever get it home?    Since we spent well over the required minimum  we got to use their delivery truck for FREE!!!!!  Going slowly around curves with a snow blower that is not roped down in a pickup truck is not this french man's forte.    Once home, Marc pawks the caw, I mean truck,  in front of the house and proceeds to lift the freezing metal ramps out of the back of the truck, lowering it down to the ground in an almost 90 degree angle, he then jumps in the pickup to position the snow blower to drive it down the ramp.  How,  I wonder, is he going to maneuver the snow blower down the impossibly sloped ramp when he weighs 1/10 of it and he has a bad shoulder...hmmm. think think think.   Wait, I have a bright, California idea!  Get back in the truck and drive it down the steep snow covered driveway.  That way, the angle of the ramp will be more leveraged.   I knew he was thinking I am more than just looks and a great peice of a--.  Once he got the monster of a truck down the driveway, the ramps formed a more conducive angle.  Marc climbed back into the truck and proceeded to turn the snow blower on so he could drive it down the ramp.  At this point I imagined the snow blower lurching forward dragging Marc behind it and both of them crashing to smitherines.   Wait!!! I screamed, you can't do it that way!!!  You need to be standing on the ground, each of us on either side of the ramp, we'll hold the handle bars and  balance the snow blower on its wheels and roll it slowly down the ramp. Jus like that..Hey,  I am not just all looks!  In this manner, we got the snow blower very easily off the truck,  why didn't they explain how to do this back at Home Depot?  Couldn't they tell we are French and Californian!!   We only got an hour free so it was time to bring the truck back.  Marc got behind the wheel and wir-wir-wir,  the tires sped but the truck didn't move.  It was skidding on the ice that had already formed in the driveway.  Marc pulled this way and that way, backing up an inch, turning the wheels, moving forward an inch only to get stuck over and over.   Oh shit, so much for my brilliant ideas.  How were we going to get the truck out of the driveway without burning the rubber off the tires or crashing into the colonial age stone wall.   I kept running around to each side of the truck not knowing what to do next.   I know... do we have any anti freeze to pour on the ground?     Marc braved against the sliding and slipping dully and finally maneuvered crisscross back and forth up the driveway and freed the monster, he emerged victorious and was back on his way, until he realized he left his keys for his car behind. 

Oh, and Sam got to Chicago just fine and had to fly standby for the next flight to Los Angeles, luckily he got on the very next flight and he is on his way home, just in time for the next Laker game. 

The rest of the day will be doing what we do best...cuddling by the fire, eating cheese fondue and chicken soup, and sipping a crisp Savoie.